The art of dating when you are in your 40’s is a perilous, soul destroying mission. I blame my misfortune with men on the 'fairy tale factor'... That never ending belief that love conquers all and that one day a prince will come.

Reality isn't even close to the fairy tale. Especially when the prince doesn’t just come with baggage – he comes with a bitter, money grubbing ex-wife clinging to his back like a hump.

I gave it a shot. It sucked. I suffered a potential serial killer teenager who would pick his nose and wipe it on the wall. I gained 15 kilo; became invisible to the world. Yeah; I don’t think I’ll do that again.

Monday, September 1, 2014


I wagged today.  I just needed a day to myself.  Not that I achieved much.  I spent hours attempting to eradicate a virus from my computer; I have no idea why these morons develop this crap, it's so annoying.  I also went for an interview; it would freak me out if I actually get to the next round but hey ho, sometimes you've got to throw your hat in the ring.  I always feel like an idiot at these things which is kind of weird, considering I actually do know my job.

So.  The weekend.  Hmm the date on Saturday…  I don’t know why one person attracts and one doesn’t, but I am struggling to meet anyone who ticks the boxes.  It’s not like there are that many boxes to tick!  I don't have a never ending list of demands for crying out loud.  Just normal stuff.  Literate. Funny. Not married. Not a woman. Likes music. That should have a pool of about 3 million guys you'd imagine... But no. 

So in the world of dating; then there was none.

Yesterday, I went to a record fair which the 'Record Guy' had told me about.  I grabbed several Stones albums and a fantastic Maryanne Faithful; so much for saving…

I’m not sure where they advertise a record fair but I’ve never seen one advertised before.  This one was like the Boxing Day sales rush!  There were boxes and tables and more tables and more boxes!!!  Records!  Everything you could want, including a record cleaning service.  There were young, old, tattooed!  It was fantastic.

At least my record empire grows.   I was there about three minutes when I got a “hi” text from the 'Record Guy' (frankly, I was surprised he saw me in the crowd but I may have been the only blonde!)  I did seek him out to say hi and grab a bag of records he had set aside for me; it was kind of like a drug deal…  Bag comes out from under the counter; money exchanges hands…  Fun.

The fair was full on and packed to the rafters so I didn’t get to spend more than three minutes talking to him but in those three minutes, I remembered why I had said yes to going out with him in the first place.  Not typically good looking (leave it to me to like someone ‘unusual’) but “something” there.  I guess you'd call it chemistry!  (yay!)

On my drive home I got a text from him to say “you looked fantastic today” which started more to and fro in the land of text.   Now we are going out Wednesday night.  Should be interesting…  I’m still uncertain about that whole 6-7 years younger; but that is just maybe where you have to go if you want someone interesting, into music and still fully functioning in all the areas that count  ;)  

Since then, it’s been raining prospective dates…

I awoke to two emails this morning, both from pleasant looking, normal type men that had obviously read my profile (rather than trying the shotgun tactic); one of which I have been having a great time in email land with!  Then one from a fifty year old attractive lesbian;  (Maybe if she had of sent that after the date with 'Driving Miss Daisy', lol, but not quite ready to give up just yet.)  Then one from a tubby forty-something married guy - they don't have a generic reply that says "Dear Moron, I guess you didn't read my profile.  I hope your dick drops off. Good luck in your search!"

Snap.  Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow…?  

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

What happened to the drought..?

Jeez.  The last potential date slid into the sunset; well he is still around but I am listening to my gut – and my gut says run

I went to Ballarat the other weekend and came home with a stack of records.  One was from 1985 - “Do Re Mi (Deborah Conway) - "Man Overboard" 1985.

I mentioned to the record shop guy (who is 46) that I had purchased it and he laughed and mentioned his father had been in a long term relationship with Deborah Conway.  He had played around her in the end and she’d written a song about it.  His dad owned some large band venue in Sydney… 

Yeah.  Tree.  Apple.  Not winning me over here…  And the gut is already swirling.  I hate it when people call me Darl… or Honey… it’s stupid.  Okay that isn’t a great reason to kick someone to the kerb but I’m sticking to it!

Every so often, one comes along that you just click with.  The base player was one; until he turned out to be a dick.  Wanting me to go away for the weekend five seconds in and being snooty when I said no.  Weird really.

Now there is a 51 yo Theatre Technician who has zoomed up the ranks to first place.  His first email had my heart thumping.  Hell, it was well written – he used punctuation for crying out loud!  He works in my industry.  He’s smart.  Funny.  Has a vinyl collection!

What the Hell will be wrong with this one…

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Fussy or not interested..?

Okay; sometimes I have to ask myself am I super fussy; or am I just not really interested in finding ‘Mr Right’; or even ‘Mr Right Now’?   I mean let’s face it; my track record on the scale of attractive isn’t great so I should be able to find someone who doesn't look quite as bad as Quasimodo, yet is smart and funny.

I find interesting more important than looks – and judging by my past conquests, it shows!

Now I have to admit that there are a lot of bad teeth and draggy leg things out there.  There is also seriously bad fashion and hair so bad you feel as though they should be mocked from here to eternity.  Some wearing socks and sandals that frankly, should have a tin of petrol and a match thrown on their feet…

But there are also some guys that seem nice; okay looking… Probably fun.  Fun if I actually let it get that far.

The trouble is, I’m not getting to the fun part.  I’m vetoing them before they have even gotten a foot in the door!  I find some reason, no matter how obscure, to ensure that I slam the door on them.  Now I have to seriously wonder if inside my head, I know that I'm not actually ready to date yet; and so my head (God love it...) is making sure that I don’t date.

Tonight, the last 'potential' hit the bin.  Why..?  I got this while I was at the football, watching my beloved Cats lose to those swine, Hawthorn.  Even worse, while in the MCC members…

Let's try that again.

Him:  Are you at the game?
Me: Yes
Him:  You're looking okay
Him:  Ha ha. I can hear you from here

Was that so hard..?  No it was not...

I don't do phonetics...  But more importantly... You need to be able to write in English!  

What the hell happened to grammar?  WTF is that just abandoned now???  I mean I actually have it in my profile that spelling and grammar are important!!! 

So there is another potential that just won't do. 
Frankly, I am beginning to think I'm better off on my own.  I could just write myself some fantastic love letters :)  At least the spelling and grammar would be correct!