The art of dating when you are in your 40’s is a perilous, soul destroying mission. I blame my misfortune with men on the 'fairy tale factor'... That never ending belief that love conquers all and that one day a prince will come.

Reality isn't even close to the fairy tale. Especially when the prince doesn’t just come with baggage – he comes with a bitter, money grubbing ex-wife clinging to his back like a hump.

I gave it a shot. It sucked. I suffered a potential serial killer teenager who would pick his nose and wipe it on the wall. I gained 15 kilo; became invisible to the world. Yeah; I don’t think I’ll do that again.

Friday, October 24, 2014

God 'slash' fuckknuckle complex

Before I begin, excuse my errors. I'm forced to blog via iPhone since I'm I hospital and there is no wireless! Worse, my fingers are like chipalattas; and then spellcheck intervenes and creates hell...

So weird statements that may turnup through here aside, I decided to blog on the startlingly horrific, comedy of freaking errors that is 'the patient journey!'

Obviously, unlike my normal rants, this will be kept short but ill ensure to expand when I get home. 

Just one question. Who the Hell is teaching these fools how to be doctors...?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Walk a crooked mile…

To see another God damned crooked smile!

 

The smile on the right is mine!
The smile on the left may be exaggerated; but not by much!

WTF is that about..?  Seriously?  How do you get to be in your fifties walking around with teeth jutting out at weird angles?  I’m almost certain there is a mirror in every house; which therefore leaves me with the theory that there is a whole slew of idiots out there that cease to see their real self.

I actually work with a guy who I suspect has a magic mirror.  He gets older and wider (and more anal); yet the “perfect woman” he is looking for is young, rich and positively svelte.  It’s as though he can’t see what he looks like anymore, preferring to see the younger version of himself when he looks in the mirror.

I’m pretty certain I don’t do that.  I’m not by any stretch of the imagination perfect.  I’ve got extra kilos – but I like them.  I’ve got laughter lines!  My skin isn’t as taut as it once was (I’m not sure it ever was lol).  Gravity is pulling me down!  But I make an effort with what I’ve got.  I’ve got a gap between my teeth (which I like and choose to keep – arguing with my dentist every, single, time!) but at least they are straight and white!

I mean I’m picking guys that are either my age, or in some cases 6+ years older.  Hell, they’re no Mel Gibson but then, Mel Gibson is no Mel Gibson these days; and truth tell, I want to see some lines.  Craggy is my thing.  I’m not looking for a washboard stomach; I want to hold onto something at night.  Who wants to spoon with someone that is sharp edges..?

So what is with parade of dates with a mouth full of teeth?  It doesn’t matter how funny they are; or how nice they are.  I can’t be sticking my tongue in there – so that isn’t ever going to work.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Evil, Busy, Full On World!

I am literally working my ass off.  I've got work coming out of my gazoo.  Tomorrow, I have a meeting with HISA, chaired by a rep from the Department of Health finishing at 8.30 pm - followed by supper!  

Yeah...I finish at 4.30!!!!!

So I haven't had time to check email, let alone blog... but I do have time to shake my head in utter frustration with the world of men and dating.

Okay, I'm 52 - it was never going to be easy to get a guy with some sort of music ability, a loyalty gene and someone capable of actually being in love - I mean, let's face it, one hasn't dropped out of the sky at me with those few qualities in all my years!!!!  They are always lacking in something!

So I hunkered in for the long haul... Understanding that on my own may be my best shot at happiness. 

But the daughter!  She's 27.  Blonde.  Tall.  Gorgeous.  Smart.  Funny.

She was lamenting the fact that one of her 'kisses' was from a midget.  No.. that is not a scathing term for some guy who is 5'8" (in the ex squeeze scale of height which means about 5'5" - and perhaps 5' wide which basically means a circle...)

No... We are talking full blown, 4 foot, short legged 'game of thrones' type midget!

Not sure what she is whining about.
I want a midget! 

All I got was another big boobed lesbian!