Please sir, can I have more…

The Harridan has a new little insult that she pitches like a hand grenade over a fence at the Squeeze.

She always finishes her messages with a standard line; she always has.  The lines may have changed over the years, but the sentiment is there to stay.  No; it’s not ‘love, the Harridan’.  Nor is it, ‘regards, the nutjob’.    It has always centred around something about his lack of ability as a father; or his penis size; or a threat of…  I never quite worked out what.

It was never actually specific, like “or I’ll gut you!”  Instead, it was usually along the lines of “if you did blah blah, you just made a big mistake!!!!”   They have always been threatening without actually threatening; and written phonetically so that it has a vibe that is both harsh and guttural.

But the new final words of any text/email are a childish: ‘if you are allowed.’
If you are allowed…  How old is this woman..?  Twelve?

So it would appear that she has missed the fact that the Squeeze is a fully grown man and therefore able to make his own decisions and judgements.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems at all in having my say, neither does he; but we are each responsible for our own decisions.

The day he cut his Moodle lead and stopped creeping up to the Harridan like Oliver asking for more, was the day he could take back responsibility for his own life and decisions.  Hanging up the lead meant that no longer did he have to sit on her knee with her hand up his arse, moving his mouth for him.  Puppet, he was no longer.

So I guess what she really means is ‘now that you are no longer the whipped dog that I can order around…’

I like it!  She is admitting a loss of control.

Granted, she is accusatorial.  It’s as though she thinks I must have taken over her role as the ventriloquist.   She sees that I am now in control of his words because she doesn’t understand a relationship that doesn’t work that way.

Little does she know that if I wanted a Moodle, I’d buy myself a dog.