We Never Have Him!!!

We Never Have Him!!!  We've only had him once this month!

That is the argument I get when I put up a fuss re the kid coming unexpectedly or without my being asked or if we are arguing because I’ve had enough and determined to put my foot down.  

Then we move into 'wheedling' – like this weekend.  We had a screaming row that ended at: ‘I’m moving out (again)’ stupid Moodle.  Re today, I got “he will be gone first thing in the morning!  He’s going over to a friend’s place to watch old Bogart movies!”
Hmm.  What friend would that be..?
Where did this new found friend come from?  And Bogart movies..?
Strange; still, I guess any friend is good, even if it is a weirdo one.

But of course the friend and movie was cancelled…  Yay.  So instead, I’ve just done the whole weekend AGAIN!  In fact this month there is not one weekend that has/will be kid free.  Not one.

Now why the hell would anyone figure that I’d want to give up every weekend to have someone else’s kid?  Worse, someone’s kid who is lazy; that I'm not permitted to yell at as I would my kids.  And I always have ten times extra work when he leaves – including mopping up spilled chocolate milk from the floor and wiping down my fricking fridge because the handle is oh so obviously there for show.  I’m not even going to talk about the toilet floor or washing!

Add to this, that I have to hear the Squeeze say “Come on! Come on! Come on!” repeatedly.  To the point where I’m almost ready to bust my spleen!  It doesn’t take a mental giant to work it out!!!!  Take his laptop off him until he has done as asked instead of repeatedly asking!

And he wonders why I jack up.  Why I’m being so 'unfair'…  

And then we add to all the other pleasantries the fact that the lazy biach sent him packed for a wedding with no shirt and a pair of pants screwed up into a ball.  I tried to iron them but the stench that came off them made me swoon.  I had no time left to wash them so instead, the Squeeze had to stand and hold them out while I sprayed them with Frebreeze before he hung them on the line.  I didn't even attempt to iron them again.

I’d rather be staked to an ants nest than to have ever let my kids leave the house like that; but then again, I guess my EVERYTHING wasn't about them...

Anyhow – here is the month. 

Legend:

Red = kid days – including days where the Squeeze picks him up for dinner and a movie. 

Orange is her demanding we have him – or rather her “kid wants to stay with his dad…” texts.  (yeah, sure he does…)  Please note:  he has agreed to these days on the proviso it is at her place.

Purple is when I have extra days off.

Green are things that we get to do something - and more than likely, certainly not on our own.
I cut Monday off to fit since there was nothing on it :-)

Yeah.  I never have the kid!