Giving up on you…

It’s always the same for me…   Relationship wise.  I hang in there until I just don’t anymore.   A switch flicks in my head and I’m no longer emotionally there.  I’m empty.  Done.   It is as though the memo finally caught up with me.  It’s never going to work. There is no point waiting any longer.  This person isn’t going to love me more; or stop their cheating ways; or grow a spine.

At that point, I exit stage left.   And no one does ‘dead to me’ like I do.   It isn’t always easy.  I have my share of upset…  crying into my glass of red; friends coming to dispense tissues and wine.  But they don't hear from me.  I don't do the "get drunk and text..."  I don't do the anything really.  They just cease to exist.

This time, although upset, I seriously haven’t had the energy to cry.  During the day, I am nurse, wise woman, friend, sibling, witch doctor, worrier, nagger, planner, house worker and the chief tissue wrecker.  At night I fall into bed, totally exhausted.

There is only one time I feel my heart tug; when I hear this song: Say Something.

And then I realise it’s too late; because I already gave up on him.  Pity, because I miss him and our friendship.