Moving... Slowly!

Today I'm writing only to avoid getting ready for work. I feel like shouting "hey! I'm 55 years old! I've worked enough!" but it wouldn't do any good. In reality, I wonder when are we going to stuff the world and introduce a zombie virus or something...

Crap... Work... Again!

I feel like crap.  I have a headache and everything is aching inside! WTF?  

I suspect my muscles are all screaming because I started salt therapy; but I'm not sure.  Mind you, they said things may get worse before they start feeling better (I think they worded it "fantastic!".  Oooo but I loved going in the salt pod! Relaxation!!!

The headache from Hell is a coffee thing.  I'm not drinking it because usually I sit and have a leisurely coffee in the morning on the way to work; but I've started intermittent fasting... Which means until 12 o'clock, I can't eat or drink anything (except water!) I'm not sure if it will work but I feel skinnier lol

The Squeeze and I cooked dinner last night. I cooked for last nights meal; he cooked for tonight.  What that means is we can go down the beach for a walk prior to sitting in front of the television to veg out; with the odd little break of Uncle Morty...   He is hard to take seriously...

Pork Belly... No!

I like to think I'm a pretty decent cook.  I've whipped up some downright delectable feasts at a moments notice!  Last night wasn't one of them :(

It was ANZAC Day here and so a holiday. We went off to Eastern Beach early to walk/swim.  Great way to start the day!  Now depending where you are, I don't think you realise just how cold it was here (although these pictures should tell you lol)

  

The Squeeze did a lap before he turned blue; I was walking, seeing that I'm relatively sane.  Once we did the walk/swim, we walked down and got coffee before walking back and going home.

I cooked breaky and we had a lively discussion what we would do; which amounted to nothing but a trip to Bunnings to get some plants and hanging baskets and then into the mall to do a little shopping.

I put Pork Belly on to slow cook and the smell was fabulous!

Trouble is, when I have pork now I cant help but think of a video a vegan friend sent me of pigs going to slaughter.  It was horrendous.  I'm sure I tasted their pain and fear in the few bites I had.

At the coast!

Well I have had my girls weekend...

I got up and cooked a big breakfast for the Squeeze's number two son and his new wife when they called in.  We had some laughs; funny... It seems like I have always been there. (Damned Harridan; I hope her arsehole festers!) So we ate and they took off.  After I got rid of the Squeeze, I could run around tidy and pack... 

So we get down there and it is barely the afternoon! We shopped, ate and drank the weekend away; lugging our purchases back to our unit was a hard slog!  Then we wen't out for dinner and staggered home late in the night. I don't remember the time.  I didn't have as much alcohol as I used to have, but I had more than usual...  In fact I felt downright seedy yesterday!

But we got up, runnered up and went for long a walk yesterday morning just as the sun was coming up and then we went out for breakfast before the drive home.  So we sat there, overlooking the ocean and the sun while we ate... wondering if we were going to keep it down or not lol

The view is gorgeous and there was hardly a soul on our walk...  I love that part about Australia.  Here we are at Lorne on the Great Ocean Road and there is hardly another person there.

 

I left my hat there (a brand new beanie I bought there with a pompom on top; $75!!) but I managed to track that down and their posting it back to me.  All in all, a great weekend!!

Girls Weekend

I have a girls weekend. I'm just waiting to be picked up. Oh what fun!!!! 

I'm leaving any crap behind me for the weekend.  Plenty of time to think on it Sunday when I get home!  Come to think of it, I don't have any crap!!   :)   Life is pretty damned perfect at the moment!

Eerie kind of day...

Wow... It's an creepy day out there.

We woke up early after the Squeezes stupid foghorn alarm went off on his phone, just as we were getting into it.  Sex was abandoned and we got up and started the day...  A fog horn! Bloody hell!  He has this penchant for setting the alarm for half an hour prior to getting up and starting the day.  I don't. My alarm goes off when I have to get up (and it's a normal buzzer sounding alarm!)

So I got out of bed and checked the window; yesterday it was wet so I left the blind open a tad and it remained sort of dry.  But outside was a blanket of white fog.  Beautiful.  I love it when its like this, so thick you could get lost; so I dressed in my walking clothes and thought Sharpie would love it.

 

The Squeeze made coffee while I got toast and jam in an old practiced way.  I'm not sure how, but he has been living here for about a week, and it feels like forever.  Not in a bad way, I mean we've lived together before; but I thought it would be way harder to get used to.

Last night we went to this gorgeous little French restaurant for dinner.  Our waiter was French (or really great at faking it so you tipped well!) and everything was brilliant right down to the dessert that we shared (chocolate mousse with orange praline).

We decided that we would make going out for dinner somewhere nice a monthly treat. Some place where you can get dressed up a bit and laugh about the day.  A bit of normality amongst the stupidly busy day!

It is Friday! Yay!  I've got my son and his girlfriend coming for dinner tonight. Then the Squeeze's son and daughter in law are coming for breaky tomorrow; and then I'm off to Lorne or Apollo Bay (I'm not sure which) with my sister and sister-in-law for a night of freedom!

It is wonderful.  That bitch lives in another town.  The kids are old enough not to have her barking her orders at the Squeeze incessantly. (Well when I asked if he had heard from her, he said No. He wouldn't outright lie; maybe through omission but not an outright lie!) Ah... No wonder the world feels great!!!

The amusing stuff…

Tonight is something I’m looking forward to…  No it isn’t a work thing, although we are having an after 5 which basically means that I’m working late and networking (chatting with all and sundry)  I haven’t been to one of them for months and months, mainly because the last few times that I went, instead of chatting, I stood there like a bump on a log.

Stupid me; here I am thinking ‘maybe now that my brain has improved…’  But then again, it probably won’t.  I don’t do well in the socializing arena.  I never have…  It is made worse with my brain damage but Hell; I never could find the right ‘something to say’ with a stranger.  So although I’m going, I plan on escaping as soon as humanly possible!

The fun part is after that.  I told the Squeeze to find a noodle house or somewhere that we can go for dinner afterwards.  In actual fact, I think I’ll find a restaurant.  And I’ve just broken my train of thought to go and find one.  Bistrot St Jeans; a beautiful little French restaurant that he has said he wanted to try a few weeks back.  It happens to be quite near where our After 5 is so this is it.

Usually when he leaves in the morning I’m wearing my dog walking clothes; which are getting bulky due to the cold! And when he gets home, I’ve put on something just about identical!  More for any other reason than I only work 3 hours a day so I try to get a couple of wears of an outfit. But tonight, I’ll be dressed for the After 5 so in effect, I’ll have a little black dress on!

No…  I don’t think I’ll get romance; other than he’s normal Uncle Morty has to slap your ass or the Nun scenario.  Sigh!

Day 2... We are still speaking...

Ok... It's day 2.  All is well.  Better than well actually.

We do what we want when we want. I watch something and if he doesn't like it, we go put something else on.  Last night I went to bed and watched Royals (trashy but funny!) and was out like a light five seconds after my head hit the pillow to sleep!  I'm not sure what time he came; don't care...  So long as we get to hold one another while we sleep.

My brother and sister-in-law are coming for dinner tonight as well as my son.  I've no idea if the Squeeze will be there. He said something about going to airport to farewell his son.  I said ok. I'm not sure you'll do it by the time he leaves but I'll keep dinner for you! And in reality, it is okay. We are doing our own thing... And that is good.

What's different this time? Well I'm not rubiks cubing; so I'd say that is a great benefit.  But then again, I haven't had to deal with the witch much...

I love this song; Mazzy Star...  Great background music.

Day 1 Down...

Well....  The Squeeze is all moved into my house; in garbage bags... WTF?  Doesn't he have a suitcase or a bag?  Oh well! Garbage bags it is.

This time, I'm going to relax.  I can too.  I know the last time it was argument city because of the cleaning but without the kid, well the kid's kid... It means I only have one kid to clean up after (the Squeeze is the oldest kid in humanity...) instead of a house full!  

So being chilled, is my motto these days.  It will be clean but I'm not excessive about it.  I haven't been since my brain got tossed round by the neurosurgeon's.  I have a dog, and it sheds hair like there is no tomorrow! But I let him inside; I clean it, but I'm not vacuuming every damn day!  And I'm not getting rid of him (I shudder to think of what the old me would have done if I'd been in a house with a shedding dog!)  I won't think about that...

It is nice having him here; although I'm not sure if I'll still feel this way in the 9.8 weeks to go lol But the reality is I'm going to ease into it.  He is going back to Melbourne for the weekend and I'm going to stay down the coast with my sister and sister-in-law. I'm actually looking forward to it!

This morning we got up at 7, I went out and walked the dog and left him to get ready for work.  I came home (tripping over the bags, but I'm not touching them...) and went and cleaned a couple of drawers for him.

We have always got along like a house on fire.  Any issues we had (I'm yet to see if we still have them) was his inability to man up and tell the Harridan to go to Hell. She must be livid wondering just how the hell she can get rid of me now; with the kids all grown up.  I daresay all she can do is the odd "If she's going, I'm not!!!" but we've discussed that and I'm not missing out again so if she won't go because I'm going... Looks like she won't be going.

I'm going to torture him some more about not letting me go to the wedding, but in actual fact, I don't give a hoot.  But it is fun.

It's sad really, that my neurosurgeon changed me from this, to relatively normal...

I'm going to rub your little ball sack...

Okay; the Squeeze in his attempt at romance, told me that he is going to "rub my little ball sack".  WTF? I'm still shaking my head!

I haven't seen him since Saturday arvo.  He went home for his sons wedding. The Harridan, bitch that she is, made sure I couldn't go.  From what I could gather, did a "if she goes, I'm not!"  Frankly, I'd have called her out on it just to see if she was really going to miss my wedding but kids, go figure, they are dumb arses.  "Everything she does is for the kids..." Yeah. We know.

I'll let her take this win.  It was pissing with rain with nearly hurricane winds; they were in a rotunda in a park. I was home, warm as toast with the heater on!

And as promised.... Here is mine!

And yes... It smells good too!

Sure hasn't got any cleaner...

I took these photos at the Squeeze's the other day; mainly because it never ceases to amaze me that someone can live in a house like this and think it is okay...  And I've noticed he has reverted; all the way back to piggery.  He has dropped all pretense of the old hygiene things I taught him and taken back the 'we'll probably all die of food poisoning or botulism!'   :)

I'm not sure why he is such a piglet in the house, it certainly isn't from his mother. Both his mother and his sister were/are clean!  Of course, the Harridan is an utter lazy squat pig.  I've never actually been in their house but I've seen photos taken of it when it was valued at some stage.  Some poor guy had to turn up and take photos of the house and it was a shocker. Things hanging off everything!

Here are some images of his new house.  Welcome to Squeeze-ville!!! (or is it Squeeze-vile.?)  And for the entertainment factor, I'll put some of mine up there too!

Young and beautiful...

Some background music...  I liked the Great Gatsby, as opposed to just a Lana Del Rey version...  And not just because it has Leonardo in there (although that was one of the reasons...) it has some dishy Aussie's in there to; Joel Edgerton for one!

But this song, Young and Beautiful...  Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful...  I guess we'll see.

It is so quiet...

I live in Geelong now after living for years in Melbourne, where the back ground noise of traffic and people is happening 24/7.  I'm still amazed by how quiet it is here.  This morning when I went to walk sharpie there wasn't a soul around. I was thankful when I finally saw a car on the main road.  When I first moved here, I was amazed by it.  It still disconcerts me.

I usually walk Sharpie, my dog, around the cemetery; on the weekends I take him to the beach but weekdays, the cemetery is the closest thing without cars. It is fascinating reading all the names of people that have been and gone.  Today, I saw Patrick Duffy... Not the actor.  He died in 1955; makes me wonder if anyone even thinks about him anymore.

Getting your sexy on...

Okay.  I've blogged repeatedly over the last eight years about how inept the Squeeze is at romance.  Now I'll show you exactly what I mean...

I turned up here yesterday after work, on a Friday night.  Bedlam; a three hour trip in the car the traffic was so bad; I had the dog swaying to the music in between shoving his head out of the window and grinning at the world.

I got here, not a kiss hello in sight, nada.  We move off straight away to the shopping centre where we go to JB HI-FI  (there isn't a trip to the shopping centre without going to JB HI-FI) where I buy a groovy record (Gary Clark - Live; and I'm going back today to get Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds triple album) and he buys nothing.

Then it is off to the movies to see The Quiet Place (scare factor is about a 7) more suspenseful but a good premises... And out for pizza so it is nine o'clock before we get home, throw off our clothes and get into bed and watch a little bit of Jessica Jones.

All of a sudden it is about eleven pm, and we turn out the lights and flick the television off and the Squeeze leans over and pulls me close and wraps his arms around me.  I relax into him; I have always felt safe there in his arms. Then in the dark, his baritone voice mutters in my ear "uncle Morty knows you've been a bad girl..."

WTF?  Uncle Morty can rotate!!.

Year of Change

lol oh God.  Lucky I have a sense of humour!!! In September 2014 I was praying for a year of change...   Getting brain damage, moving to Geelong and being out of work wasn't exactly the change I was thinking of!!!  Mind you, I'm not so sure I would change any of it....

This is what I wrote:

I spent most of last year walking around muttering ‘2014 will be the year of change!’

Dad dying and me being single again were not exactly the changes I was thinking of, however; life tosses stuff at you and its deal or no deal.

The only way to cope with ugly stuff is to look at the positives.  Positives in my Dad dying aren’t exactly lying thick on the ground but I am focusing on the fact that I was lucky enough to get a brilliant Dad; and he was a brilliant Dad to me for fifty one years.   If it was a lottery; I won first prize. 

Re being single…  I’m not even thinking about dating again for a while.  There needs to be some sort of ‘repair phase’ before I go down that path.  I’m in no hurry.  Instead, I’m concentrating on changing back to the person I was prior to fitting into the Squeeze’s life. I liked that person. I didn't like the person I was when I was forced to deal with the toad - and I was always wrong; it made me feel like a liar.

This week, it has been well after 9 pm before the television was even turned on.  That is the biggest thing I missed while in a relationship; that blessed silence or music crashing over you as you unwind from work and just cook.

I still have a fair amount to do to finish off the house and some of that will require utes and manly tools but let’s face it, I was always the manly tool person anyhow!  

A Dilettante

I love that word.  I first heard it in a movie; Gene Hackman shouted it at someone when his side was losing a court case to gun control. “He’s a dilettante! Nothing more!”   I think the movie was Run Away Jury.  Bloody brilliant movie actually; but there I go; off on a tangent…

The Squeeze, God bless his little atrophied heart, is an emotional dilettante.  He is an amateur; an apprentice.

You’d think after writing me that beautiful card where he called a spade a spade, sent me the roses… He would have magically become Mr. Romance almost overnight.  Not so.  Not even close.

I didn’t pin my hopes on it since he is inept at all things romantic. But just once; just for one second… I'd like him to be… I’d like him to think of me and shoot of an email for no reason.  Buy something totally frivolous!  BE Mr. Romantic!! 

But I won’t hold my breath…

Life... It sucks.

Surely I'm not the only one who thinks life sucks..?  You work forever, barely scrape by and for what? Just to die?

I'm thinking a lot about it lately. Probably because in discussions with others I'm left thinking WTF..?  For example, my Mum has scoliosis.  Kind of like King Richard the III but she isn't a hook leaning over to the front... Instead she is like a corkscrew so leans to the side.  The pain is an awful thing to watch.  She is 81 but even being in constant pain she is clinging to life with both hands.  And she is only one of them!

I sort of think winding down and getting bloody tired of all the hell-a-baloo is what we should do.  You don't get to retire at 65 anymore, basically you have to work until you're dead anyhow!

Easter. Done and Dusted.

If I look back over my life, it is with utter clarity that I see every Easter, when I wasn't with my brothers and sisters; we at least called or texted to say have a fabulous Easter! 
This year, we didn't.

I have to admit, I'm as guilty as the next person.  My life seemed to busy at the time. I had my daughter and her dog there.  The Moodle.   My son came with his 'Soon to be Bride' and the three kids (and I am lucky enough to love them to bits...)  My other son came with his new girlfriend (and I'm lucky enough to like her and I think we'll get on just fine!) and so we did a large roast lamb and pork with all the trimmings and sat about drinking champagne and eating until we couldn't move.  Of course after the meal and champagne, we waited an hour for dessert but it still wasn't long enough. It made me feel sick, although I still crammed it in.

After lunch (when we were still bemoaning our stomachs) my son, his wife-to-be and the kids left to drive to her father's place for an equally yummy meal and more feeling sick. Thank God I didn't have to do anything like that!

So left with the Moodle, my son and his girlfriend and the girl (and dogs) it was still a full house where we sat about and watched something on the television although I couldn't say what it was. I was coming in and out from cleanup outside...

Next year, I plan to do the same thing.  Although it was exhausting it was fabulous.
All my kids under the one roof. No fighting. Just a heap of laughter.